One of my most favorite things to do in the morning is to look at the sky as I sip my coffee and just allow myself to dive deep into a state of existential analysis. During these times, I feel peaceful and a bit jealous at how the birds can freely fly in the sky with complete abandonment.
For someone who values her freedom and independence among all other many things, such view of flying birds gets me thinking: ‘What does freedom look like to you, Mars?’
For the past years, I’ve always said yes to my creative freedom. But as the pandemic started gnawing and draining us of our creative juices, I can’t help but feel trapped and different – like a stranger to myself. I miss my traveling and socializing self. I miss my carefree, broke, adventurous self.
But… is that all there is to freedom? Is freedom that important?
As Mark Manson put it, “Freedom grants the opportunity for greater meaning, but by itself there is nothing necessarily meaningful about it. Ultimately, the only way to achieve meaning and a sense of importance in one’s life is through a rejection of alternatives, a narrowing of freedom, a choice of commitment to one place, one belief, or (gulp) one person.” – Excerpt From “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”
Reflecting on everything that happened and did not happen this 2020, I can confirm that the strings of events got me to where I am now, where I wanted to be. All my quest for freedom, albeit unending, has strengthened my commitment to the most important things despite my fear and insecurities.
Looking at all those, it’s the same me after all. It’s the same Mars who’s ready to jump into puddles. The same person who feels free in talking and giving herself to people. The same self who sees freedom as she sees fit. She’s just taking a break. And ready to fly again once the coast (er, Covid) clears.