Life Coaching

How to know you’ve moved on

In my years as a life coach/ friend/ mother/ trainer, I’ve noticed one topic that’s most sought after and most commonly asked or read – LOVE. I received this question months ago; however at that time, I felt that although most of my answers could be real, they may not be substantial enough.

The question was “How would I know that I have moved on?”

Hmm… I’m sure that question made us cringe or sighed in one way or another.

Having my fair share of heartaches, answering this question shouldn’t be a challenge at all. But as I’ve written in my previous post, getting broken-hearted always leaves us clueless like it’s the first time.

After careful deliberation, here’s my simple list on how to know that we have finally moved on from a heartbreak:

We are freed from the Memories.

We look at the person who wronged us (or we wronged), whether in the flesh or in IG posts or pictures, and there is no more remorse or hate or longing. All the impurities or negative emotions are replaced with gratitude. The Memories don’t hurt anymore. Have you heard of the quote, “don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened”? We know we have moved on when we can smile at the person – not with teary eyes or with shaking lips, but with the most genuine kind of smile.

We know we have moved on when we can smile at the person – not teary-eyed or with shaking lips, but with the most genuine kind of smile.

We have taken Accountability to turn the pain into lessons.

When we are still hurting from a break-up, it is not easy to reflect logically and take responsibility. We tend to be clouded with pain and emotions that we kept on focusing on what the other party had done. One way to look at “Past” is that, we should leave it where it should be – in the past. And we know that we have moved on when we feel that in contrast to blaming ourselves, we have been accountable in acknowledging the lessons which help us envision how we want our next relationship to be.

One way to look at “Past” is that, we should leave it where it should be – in the past.

We Rejoice in being Single.

I’ve read somewhere that one sign that we have moved on is when we have started to be interested in someone else. While this can be good and can definitely be helpful, it becomes wrong when this new person becomes merely our point of escape. Rebound in this context is always a dangerous word: it may have some success stories, but statistics on that is but low. We’ve seen several video clips showing how miserable people are from being single. I’d say that we know we have moved on, when being single to us doesn’t feel like a curse but more of a gift. I like how the word “single-blessedness” came to be. While in this phase, we diligently work on ourselves for the sole purpose of making ourselves worthy, for us and for the Creator. We’ve found that self-love should never be negotiable! We know we have moved on when we do not feel pressured to look good to impress the ex or anyone anymore. When someone asks what our status is, our response is a thunderous and joyous, “I’M SINGLE!”

When someone asks what our status is, our response is a thunderous and joyous, “I’M SINGLE!”

We have Surrendered.

We know we have moved on when we have wholeheartedly allowed a much stronger Force to take hold of our lives, especially our love lives. One verse that inspired me on this article is Songs of Solomon 8:4. It says, “Promise me, O Women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.” Many times when we are in dire need of moving on, we force relationships to fill that feeling of emptiness and of missing having someone around. More often than not, however, this leads to another set of disappointments and the cycle goes again. When we have moved on, we leave things be, and have faith that the one who deserves us will soon cross paths with us, when and if He sees that the time is right.

Fully moving on for me means recognizing a different kind of love! A transcendental kind of love! It is too beautiful beyond words that it’s hard for me to describe it. You know the feeling when you see unicorns and rainbows? It’s that, but definitely more than that. And getting to such colorful stage cannot happen overnight, especially without Him, who knows what Love is the most. Breaking up with someone can absolutely leave a void. But that’s the beauty of voids! It leaves a space for us to fill with new colors and beautiful things, until we are fully healed and have completely moved on. Only with God’s grace we can achieve that.

I send you all my love in your moving on process. ♥

Fully moving on for me means recognizing a different kind of love! A transcendental kind of love!

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Any additional signs you want to add? Comment below!

Stay loved and blessed. ♥

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