Google how to deal with break-ups, and I’m sure you’d find so many self-help articles. The challenge is, those tips and pieces of advice can only do so much. In the end, you’d realize that each break-up is a unique case and that there isn’t a cookie-cutter approach.
One of the most common go-to strategies though that I’ve read and heard is “get yourself busy”. While this may sound right, if the said busyness is more destructing than healing, then perhaps taking a different route is necessary.
A lot of times I’ve heard tips like “go out with your friends”, “don’t stay at home”, “don’t dwell on it”, “think about something else”. These may have worked for some. I’m sure though that you’ll agree with me that it’s easier said than done, and for some people, going out isn’t just their thing.
For someone who has loved so much (and has been equally hurt), I must say that there’s one remark that struck me the most: “Mars, find goals not diversions”. And this really hit the nail on the head.
It’s hard to make people understand the list of hurdles that one has to go through in order to stay afloat in times like these. No matter how several times one has gone through a break-up, every instance hurt like it’s the first time. Most of us may know about the 5 stages of grief and the ever cliché “Acceptance is the key”.. what happens after those?
Setting goals, instead of finding a diversion, for me works whichever type of personality one might have: introvert or extrovert, thinker or doer, feeler or watcher. That goal is something that no one has imposed, which will be achieved at one’s own timeline and style. Whether the goal is to learn a new language to meet people with different nationalities, start painting again to have an outlet for one’s emotions, party out to practice some dance moves, write a blog or book to help reflect life, by all means, go do it. No one has the right to tell someone not to do so because these are goals that one has set for himself and the end results are hard-earned efforts.
So if you are going through a break-up or any rough times, go cry if you must and do whatever you need in order to get through it. The diversions may work, but if not, trust that you can achieve whatever goals you set your heart onto.
“Be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” (2 Chronicles 15-7)
Stay loved and blessed!