Musings

Patience


This is not a song review. First because this song and the band do not need any. Second, I love this band so much that I will never think twice to put them on replay. And their song, Patience, is just one of those few songs I’ll never get tired to listen to over and over again.

Apparently, this song has been my song for the past few days. I have come to the point of eagerly getting what I want, a midst the beauty of slow dances. I wanted it so badly that I was on the verge of putting down what I have, and find another to hold. I was losing Patience. I was shaken and I was faltering.

Behind tears I sing the last part of the song Patience in my head. Those lines simply overflow with emotions and every word just describes what I feel perfectly. Not to mention how the melody and the way Axl just made the lyrics even more magical.
I’ve been walking the streets at night, just trying to get it right
Its hard to see with so many around
You know I don’t like being stuck in the crowd
And the streets don’t change but maybe the names
I ain’t got time for the game ’cause I need you…
I need you this time.

These are the times when I feel that the world is just eating every bit of sanity in my head, when happiness and standards fight with each other and I feel like I’m in between two raging rocks. These are the times that I just want to allow myself to get squeezed instead of gathering every ounce of strength to escape. It seems that not a bone or cell or vein in my body want to step forward, I am giving up.

And all along I know I have outgrown that person in me. With what I have been through, I have learned how to let happiness and positivity reign. But I have to admit- in the real world, it will not always work that way. I will sooner or later fall and stumble and fall in love and get hurt because in the simplest and most basic sense, I am human after all. And I must admit, for the nth time, I was hurting.

And there will really come a time that despite the fact that I have learned to love myself, I will still need somebody to share myself with.
Ooohh, I need you, this time…

And so, yet again, no matter how I told myself that I will not get hurt again because lessons in the past have made me strong, I am hurting, losing patience. It seems that the slow dance, a midst its beauty, has at last taken its toll on me and my body needs to move faster this time.

But, like in any challenge, I know that I must do something to pull myself together. I guess no matter how devastating or unsolvable a bad situation may be, taking baby steps will still get me to somewhere. No matter how small, it is important that I move forward.

And after those wailing, and self-blaming, hyperventilating included, I just have to embrace that first step – PATIENCE. As they always say, good things come to those who wait.

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act. – Psalm 37:7

I was so in a rush that I tend to stop looking back how great things are doing so far. I was mistaking happiness for satisfying a craving. And I forgot the small yet significant progress that God presents to me everyday. Patience is trusting God to keep His promises in His perfect timing (Galatians 5:22). And I was so restless that I failed to trust. I was so annoyed that I forgot how many times I laughed and felt loved. Many times I felt that my prayers are unanswered, but isn’t it that the blessings I didn’t even ask for come pouring? And isn’t it that the very thing I want to let go now is one of the things that I love the most?

The song has been replaying for so many times now that I lost count. I am so thankful that Guns N’ Roses are with me in my down time. Yes, they are there as I party or rock hard, but there will really come a time to take things slow and this song just reminds me that. Sometimes I just have to sway softly to music, relive the art of a slow dance, go with the flow.

As I let the music seep in , I ask God to grant me that Patience- to accept things the way He has planned, to submit and to keep the faith that everything will work itself out fine.

Yes, for now, all I need is just a little Patience.

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